


basiphobia

by orphan_account



Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Dreams, habit tries to pretend like everything hes doing is cool ad epic but it is actually sad and pathetic, i listened to mt eerie while writing this, references to bad end, references to childhood abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:21:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. ... Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation.”alternate titles; dreams as premonitions / habit is in complete control of everything going on and is not deluding himself and everything will be okay





	basiphobia

 

Boris is no stranger to nightmares. He’s had them since he was little. For a while he had them so bad and for so many nights in a row he had to go to a doctor, but he doesn’t really remember if anything came of that or not. Not that it matters much anymore. He’s a grown man, and he’s mostly past the nights of waking up crying for his mother, soaked in cold sweat. Mostly. Everybody has bad nights, and he really can’t be expected to keep a perfect track record when it comes to those things. He’s a busy man, and he has lots of things to keep track of, and he can’t really control his dreams, can he?

It’s just been a little worse lately. And it isn’t the normal dreams either, the ones that make him stay quiet when he wakes up because he’s afraid he’s back at home again, and if he’s too loud something bad will happen. That’s a familiar fear, a familiar confusion in the dark that’s plagued him since he left for college. It’s not pleasant, and there’s no comfort in that familiarity, but there is discomfort in something new.

He’s been dreaming about falling. Falling for hours that feel like seconds or seconds that feel like hours, grabbing at the air for something, jolting back into his body like he’s actually hit the ground or he’d been above himself. Maybe he’s been spending too much time on the balcony. Kamal has told him he’s been too careless, leaning too far over the railing. Sometimes he loses himself a little, usually in the soft haze of the desert sunset, and he only comes back when Kamal pulls him away from the edge, breathing quick and shallow like a scared animal.

But Kamal worries about that stuff too much. He worries about bare wires on the cord for jukebox in the lounge and water damage to ceilings and gluten intolerances and heart failure because of poor dental hygiene and how easy it would be to fall against the balcony window and break it. He sweats about the little things. Right now the big picture is what matters, and so few people understand that. Boris wishes Kamal had, he really does. And even if he didn’t understand, he wishes he’d stayed. He’s so close to everything starting to be good, and it would be nice to have somebody else to share that with. But he’s done all of this alone, and he can finish it alone. 

Maybe that’s why his dreams are different lately. It’s a turning point in his life, like puberty or going to college or a first kiss. Maybe once he’s finished, he won’t have those old nightmares anymore. Maybe he won’t have nightmares anymore at all.

 

That would be nice.

**Author's Note:**

> You Like My Product?


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